Empathy is about caring for another, having a desire to help them, understanding and experiencing the emotions of another and knowing what another is thinking or feeling. Close empathy feels like a blurred line between one’s self and another. It is about the ability to put oneself into the mental shoes of another to understand their emotions and feelings. You need to have a certain amount of empathy before you can feel compassion. A main characteristic of compassion is wishing that others be free from suffering, a wish to be extended without limits to all living beings. A lack of compassion, by contrast, can result in cruelty. 

This principle requires you to have an open mind, to see other view-points. You need an enquiring mind, ask the right questions, try to learn as much as you can from another view point. You need to learn to effectively listen to understand so let others do the talking and consider the information you are given. Merlot my once in a lifetime horse that I rescued from a very abusive home taught me to effectively listen. If I failed to listen and understand it only resulted in him responding with his established old patterns of behaviour. To change his behaviour I had to use empathy and compassion. To truly understand him I had to be able to walk miles as if in his hooves. Know how he viewed his world, what caused him concern and understand his emotional pain.  

Empathy and compassion is a skill you can develop. In our fast paced world empathy and compassion is often in very short supply. We have all experienced feeling like we are just another number, the impersonal processing of our requests, and not being listened to. Many people live and work in relationships where there is very little empathy and compassion. Worse there is the damaging blame culture. So many of us know what it feels like to feel a lack of empathy and compassion. Sadly many horses suffer this fate when interacting with humans, many accept and work for their human and you can see in their eyes a resigned expression, the joy is not there. Some develop a learnt helplessness. Others horses fight against the injustice. These horses are often labelled as dangerous or naughty. Once a horse has a naughty label it can be slippery slope for harsh training methods, gadgets, or at worse punishment or abuse. These horses are the ones who need a compassionate caring owner to bring out their talents and for them to see a joy in a partnership with a human.  

To become more effective with your horse why not practice empathy and compassion on everyone you meet? How compassionate are you? How often do you actively practice empathy? Think about how you interact with other people….How often do you find the need to cut across what someone is saying? Or finish their sentence for them? Have you fully and clearly understood what they are trying to say? Do you help people to open up and tell you what they need to say? Have you picked up on the other person’s non-verbal communication? What does their body language tell you about how they feel? How often have you really connected with another person so deeply that you can feel another’s pain, fear, joy, etc. 

By developing this skill with our own species we start to understand the qualities we need to be more effective in communication before we add the dimension of developing equine compassion in which we have to learn the language of the herd. With horses we need to tune in to what they are saying and learn to listen to their communication. Horses communicate differently, it is mostly a silent language of intent, energy shift, breathing patterns, rhythm, body language and some is very subtle.

You can read for FREE my published article Telegraphing In. 

Developing your equine compassion helps you to see the world from your horse’s perspective. Equine compassion is about taking the focus from yourself and imagining what it is like for your horse in his reality. Humans and horses live in separate realities. The way we see and interact with the world is very different to that of our horse. It is a question of understanding, respecting and honouring these differences. By understanding his reality you will know when he is in his comfort zone and see his fears, pains and frustrations. This in turn greatly helps you to help your horse. 

Equine compassion is a skill you can learn. The first step is to have an understanding of horse nature, studying horses at pasture and how horses interact in a herd is time well spent. Along with gaining knowledge from experienced natural horsemanship practitioners is the back bone to developing equine compassion. However learning just the natural horsemanship techniques will not give you the full picture…the guiding principle to truly understanding the horse is to develop empathy and compassion. Start today and actively practice living your life with more empathy, compassion and understanding. 

The next stage to using equine compassion is to use your knowledge of horse nature and natural horsemanship and add on intention, energy, eye contact, body language and finally touch. Horses respond very well to intention, as riders / handlers we often are not aware of how subtle intention clues can have a big impact on our horses. Horses evolved to read intentions of predators as their lives depended upon getting this right.  Horses read our intentions. Are you aware of your intentions? Or how your intention can be influenced by your emotional state of mind and behavioural drivers? Until you are aware of your intentions you operate at a sub-conscious level and see the effect of your intentions in your horse’s behaviour. Start to develop self-awareness of your intentions when you are with your horse and observe their impacts. When you become more aware you can refine your communication with your horse. 

Are Horses Sentient Beings?  

Mostly what we know about horses being sentient beings comes from our close connection with our own horses. Only recently has some research been undertaken into answering the question – Are Horses Sentient Beings? With animals it is how we respond and interact with them that will determine the effect they have on us. When I look into the eyes of an animal I see a spirit and soul looking back. I for one am convinced horses are sentient and capable of feeling and expressing a wide range of feelings and emotions. I am convinced horses are very able to read us, interpreting and responding to our very subtle communication.  I believe all living beings are spirits / souls that have a body. So not only are horses sentient they are souls too. Therefore we are able to connect with our horses to have deep meaningful relationships.   

Are Horses Capable of Being a Soul Companion and or an Earth Angel?

I think so. If you open up to having a spiritual connection with your animals you see qualities similar to what you imagine an angel or a soul companion possesses. Many of us are drawn to horses as they can inspire us, uplift us and encourage us to enjoy life. Stirring up deep within us emotions and awakening our senses becoming a lifelong passion. Horses give us so much, their body, soul and pure spirit. They teach us about nature, incredible power with balance and harmony. When the interactions with horses are right horses are willing accepting partners. This teaches us about acceptance, empathy, compassion and understanding. Humbling considering how little they ask in return. There is far more to horsemanship than the mechanics of groundwork or riding, there is an emotional bond and a spiritual connection. That magic we seek is waiting in our horse. This is why horses have the power to shape us and change us. It is about our perspective: If you are open to animals teaching or guiding us then it isn’t difficult to see they are offering us the same lessons as angels or soul companions. Some horses are soul companions, others earth angels and some a mixture of the qualities of the two.

What is a Soul Companion? 

• A soul companion relationship has a deep natural affinity, a bond with love and spirituality.
• A soul companion comes to you to help you grow and discover from within personal development.
• It’s a relationship based in kindness and mutual trust.
• It’s an honest relationship with open dialogue.
• Soul companions can be teachers to teach us life lessons. Often via challenging our belief system, perceptions, ideas and thinking. Sometimes it is a golden gift in crappy paper. You attract them into your life because you need to learn something from them. Some of these lessons are profound and not easy to learn as they are so deep, so intricate that they require a lifetime of growth with each other.
• They are often the ignition to a passion from within.
• A Soul Companion relationship brings a deep understanding of each other. Horses teach us to listen, read their communication, their thoughts and emotions. 
• Soul companion relationships can be about guidance and assistance. 
• The relationship maybe about overcoming fears or freeing oneself from a damaging past.
• The relationship is characterized by being mutually respectful, loving and safe.
• These challenging relationships may start out in a dark place, however two souls companions will end up knowing each other down to the soul level. 

What are the Characteristics of an Earth Angel?

• Earth angels are authentic.
• They share their gifts with those who ask.
• They have integrity.
• Earth angels are sensitive.
• They are humble.
• Healing is something most earth angels are born with.
• They are compassionate and have a sense of purpose.
• Just like angels horses show us beauty is not just on the outside but deep inside too.
• Like angels, horses are highly intelligent and have the ability to cross a species divide to understand us.
• Horses know, they can read us, an earth angel horse will notice when you need support. These wise earth angels can see into your soul.
• Earth angels teach us about acceptance, empathy, compassion and understanding. 

I have been blessed to have had both soul companion horses and earth angel horses in my life. I believe everyone be they have 2 legs or 4, offers me opportunities for personal development, to teach me important principles and life lessons. With animals it is how we respond and interact with them that will determine the effect they have on us. 

For me horsemanship is about engaging in a meaningful relationship with our horses to form a connection of mutual love and a strong bond.  A partnership with open honest dialogue, it is a two way street. When we try to suppress our own inner feelings horses see the incongruence and it rattles them. Horses teach us a lot about ourselves, what inner issues we need to address to achieve inner balance and harmony. Once you open up a connection with your horse they become your reflection. They see you clearly. When you connect with your animals, love is returned. It is well documented that physiologically and psychologically, animals calm and relax people. There are studies that prove that people who own pets live longer, have lower blood pressure and there are many more related benefits. 

There are many barriers that prevent seeing spiritual properties in our horses. Some people are closed to this as it requires opening eyes, minds, hearts, spirit and souls. Others only see the horse as what the horse can do for them, a possession or a tool for a job. A few people have learnt to switch off or shut down from this type of connection due to past negative life situations with the fear of pain and damage. Then some would never entertain the idea that animals can teach us. Sadly the equine media reports on stories of abuse: be it for sport, profit, neglect, inhumanity or profit which indicates the huge distance some people have to travel to change perceptions.  

Anxiety attacks are common in both humans and horses. A lot of my work is about helping horses and humans banish their anxiety and live their equine dreams. I can only work with a very limited number people one to one. So to help more people I run workshops from time to time. I also share my knowledge in FREE to read articles and blogs. Plus I have written a detailed resource pack Banish Anxiety – Horsemanship and Beyond. The resource pack is designed to give you insights, knowledge and techniques in banishing anxiety. It is designed to be used alongside support from a professional of your choice.  

Horsemanship will get you so far, however without the insights into the nature of the beast of what anxiety is and how to deal with it you will struggle. Many people I meet are highly skilled horse people, it’s not their ability to ride or handle their horse that is limiting them; it is anxiety either in themselves and or their horse. Horses have a great way of reflecting right back at us the issues we need to face from within. 

If you suffer anxiety and others around you haven’t experienced it can be hard for others to give you the help you need. Many folk have had lessons to improve their riding or groundwork; however the anxiety prevents them from moving forward on their own as the lessons didn’t explore how to banish anxiety. Then if you own an anxious horse and you have never experienced anxiety you will struggle to understand how best to help your horse. We can only truly provide empathy and support if we have walked a mile in another soul’s shoes. Or have invested in learning about anxiety so we can help others with knowledge we have acquired. Yes, I personally know anxiety well. I have lived with it, worked through it and come through the other side. I have learnt about the nature of the anxiety beast, and the techniques to free you. Plus I regularly work with anxious horses to help them banish the anxiety and be safe, calm and confident. I understand what impact anxiety has in regard to personal suffering. It is a dark place to be overwhelmed with misery and anxiety. Often people feel alone. Or feel guilty about their anxieties. 

In my experience people need time to explore and understand anxiety in a private safe and non-judgemental environment. Often being away from the yard and in the comfort of a warm home to learn about what is anxiety and how to deal with it. Confidence and anxiety are very closely interlinked with often blurred boundaries. Anxiety reduces our confidence levels, making doing tasks we once found easy hard. The cycle of anxiety and loss confidence feed into each other and it becomes a vicious cycle that is hard to break free from. I provide safe non-judgemental sessions from the comfort and privacy of my home in Coventry. I help people to really understand the root causes of their anxiety. And teach them techniques they can use to banish anxiety. I will come out to people with their horse to give them one to one tuition.     

Anxiety attacks are also known as panic attacks. Anxiety has the potential to kill our dreams. It can be a living nightmare and a battlefield robbing you of confidence and self-esteem. Living in an anxiety state is limiting, restrictive and soul destroying. It can left unchecked interfere with your daily life. Being anxious stops you from staying motivated, because anxiety stops you from trying and moving forward towards your life goals. Anxiety also has an impact your physical health in many ways, left unchecked not only will your mind suffer so will your body, spirit and soul. 

Maybe you have used or are using medication to manage your anxiety; this does nothing to re-train the mind. It is a sticking plaster. Often when people try to come off medication they experience a relapse. Learning how to cope is essential for us all as there will always be difficult situations and dark days that trigger anxiety. I can show you a blend of cognitive behavioural techniques, horsemanship using the language of the herd and relaxation techniques to control anxiety. There are many techniques and approaches you can use when dealing with anxiety; Far too many to write about here in a short blog. Plus you need tutoring to master technique and support when using anxiety techniques in horsemanship. 

Anxiety, it just stops your life from being the best it can be.  It is a natural reaction to avoid situations that make us feel anxious / fearful. The natural response when exposed to a fearful situation is flight, fight or freeze, an evolutionary survival reaction. Both horse and human possess this survival reaction and it can be triggered by real threats and perceived threats to our wellbeing.  

You are only one decision from making a change so you can live the life you want. You can learn to conquer anxiety. I will share with you insights, knowledge and techniques. I can help you to understand anxiety and give you the tools and skills to reduce your symptoms, regain control of your life and show you different pathways you can take to manage anxiety. Horses can suffer from anxiety, so you need the knowledge not only to manage your anxiety but insights into how to help your horse.

There is far more to play than playing with objects like a ball or having at go at Equine Obstacle Challenges aka Handy Pony aka Agility. (I use a broad description as it comes in may shapes, forms and delights). The Art of Play is far more than this which you can read for FREE in the articles I had published in Horsemanship Magazine. I remeber as a child at small local shows handy pony classes (sometimes partly non ridden or completly non ridden). To navigate a series of obstacles or challenges and being awarded marks on the merit of not only the task completed but in ethical handling skills and the pony's manners. The equine world has certainly moved on since my childhood and there are many merits for enjoying this activity with our equines.  

It provides us with an excellent opportunity to fully engage with our horses on many levels: cognitively, physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. It teaches horses and humans about sharing a learning experience. In horsemanship play is a wonderful tool in development of a shared language as it opens up two way communication. It builds self-esteem and self-confidence in both equine and human participants which enriches a shared supportive relationship. This and play are wonderful for building mutual respect, trust and bonding. 

If you want to have a go at it is very easy to get started. Many obstacles can be made from things you already may have at the yard. For example a selection of ground poles can be laid out to create a simple maze to walk through. A tarp can be weighted down for your horse to walk over. Cones to weave in and out. A mat to practice as a stop, stand and park place. A heavy weight pallet can with handyman or handywoman skills we turned into a podium with marine ply on the top then attach a non slip mat. Other pieces of kit are cheap to purchase, flags, ribbons, hoops, barrels, etc...  Our own horse has certainly tested all our equipment and managed to destroy stuff. So I strongly urge you to make your obtacles robust and ensure they are safe. Never leave your horse unattended. And if you are new to this please work with a professional.   

Here are just a few of the many benefits equine obstacle challenges 

If you want to ignite cognitive development in your horse these activities and play are a great way to encourage your horse to think. Horses are very able to cognitively process, problem solve and think things through. These activities allow horses to explore the world and is fabulous for conquering their fears. Using play you can help your horse think, to look to you for guidance rather than react. It’s great for spook busting and bomb proofing your horse. Horse and human together through play around facing fears, develop new competencies, enhanced confidence and a resiliency in facing future challenges. From practicing spook busting games as a partnership, you and your horse will have tools and strategies in dealing with scary situations. Once practiced and skilled you will view tricky situations as golden training opportunities not to be feared. 

These activities teaches humans about patience and understanding. As for true horsemanship it should be 50 / 50 with the horse. So here it is essential we listen to the horse, as how best to help our horse with each new task. We want to ignite fun and for the horse to see Equine Obstacle Challenges as one type of play it enjoys. When we observe natural play in our horses we are given a unique opportunity to see the world from their view point. Horsemanship is looking into their world so we can learn to communicate more effectively. There is a place for human led structured activities, but be mindful to incorporate time for horses to select and decide their own play.

Equine Obstacle Challenges builds active and healthy bodies. Physically play enables participants to practise certain physical movements so it is great for developing better reflexes, balance, core strength, coordination, increased joint mobility, flexibility and muscle tone. Physical exercise makes you feel good as it raises the levels of the natural mood-enhancing hormones. Plus it can be one useful tool in burning calories keeping waistlines in check. 

Despite the many benefits, many don’t place a high value on it. Many people lead stressful, hurried lifestyles and opportunities to interact with their horse are often about training for an equestrian discipline, or human led agendas. For us, play is a wonderful way to get off the wheel and practice emotional well-being. Many horses are managed to meet their physical needs, and have abundant resources and live in relative peace, however due to management practices they may not be receiving the full benefits of play. Some people are unaware of how non ridden activities can be a wonderful part of enhancement of training their horse. Play is so important to optimal equine development. It helps horses to adjust to schooling as it enhances learning readiness and learning behaviours. Through play horses develop emotional maturity and the ability to concentrate. Exploration is the heart of play and it is the ignition to curiosity and problem-solving skills.    

Too many of us get hung up on being serious with our horses. Letting your hair down, laughter and joy in play is a wonderful way to spend time with your horse. Play should be a cherished part of horsemanship. It sets you up for a meaningful close bond and friendship with your horse. It is sociable, rewarding, motivating and sets us up for success mentally, physically, socially and emotionally. Most of all play is fun.    

Footnote

If you enjoy this as an activitiy there are many platforms you can take this up as a sport and compete, or attend clinics. I will not list all of them with links as I did on the Non Ridden Equine Association UK website. As this was a large part in why the association was closed. We received a formal letter from one horse agility provider. In it stated sharing links to another provider she would prosecute of the Non Ridden Equine Association UK. The stress from legal threat along with other harrasment and bullying over the years lead to the closure of the assoication.