I get asked to help people with difficult to catch horses. There are many reasons why a horse may not want to be caught. Once you know why the path before you opens up. Several horses I have been out to have been rescued from terrible abuse and as a result, they are truly terrified of humans. Others have negative past experiences of being caught because it then led to riding using methods the horse hated. Plenty of horses have had their permission boundaries ignored. These horses can emotionally shut down once caught, and seem very bidable and compliant.  They may only express not wanting to be caught in the field as this environment maybe the only place they have control over what happens. Other horses have so little interaction with humans so they are wary. A few have no interest in interacting with humans. A few play games with their humans. And a few humans I work with are nervous of their horse, so their horse therefore isn’t keen to be caught and spend time with a human who makes them feel uneasy. A few equine and human partnerships are at breaking point with a list of issues going on and catching is the tip of the ice-burg. So clearly one size will not fit all.    

The pathway for changing success in catching is looking at matters from the horses view point. I know that each client and their horse I work with are unique, so I put in place a bespoke plan. So here I cannot write for you here a catching formula that fits all. As a deeply traumatized horse that is freely turned out in a huge field with no facilities, progress maybe measured by getting permission to close the gap between horse and human. With a horse that is emotionally shut down it will be about helping that horse to deal with the emotional baggage, and ignition of joy, happiness and intrinsic motivation. For a nervous human it will be about building confidence and teaching them how to be appropriate with their horse.   

A massive tool for all issues is use of positive reinforcement. This comes in many shapes and sizes. So for an example when a horse that is fearful allows you to come a tiny bit closer to him, acknowledgement of this can be moving away and giving the horse time to think and reflect, it is a positive reward and reinforcement for that horse. Predators never leave. Bit by bit using this technique your horse will allow you closer. Permission to approach is what we are seeking. That’s completely different to permission to share space and permission to touch. Many people fail to recognise we may not have permission to approach, let alone share space respectfully with the horse, let alone touch. We have to earn this right. A fearful horse needs time to assess if he is comfortable and safe letting you near. The deeper the fear the longer this evaluation may take. Therefore be prepared to pack patience with you. Once you are on the edge of your horse’s personal bubble be patient and wait for him to reach out to move into your bubble. Yes let your horse approach you, check you out. You can reward this with a treat. Then leave. Let your horse process and reflect that nothing bad happened. This is the long game as this is the start of the journey of teaching your horse to catch you.       

However addressing the root cause has to be a huge part of the solution along with working on catching. So for horses that know being caught equals activities they don’t enjoy, it is time to address this. Reading my series on Motivation in the Published articles section will help you to gain insights into changing things for you and your horse so activities become rewarding and enjoyable for you and your horse. Once something is seen by your horse as very enjoyable and fun, guess what? Yes your horse will choose to leave his field buddies, the grass and catch you, because being with you will be more important.   

Invest in play. If something is fun and enjoyable your horse will look forward to you arriving. Horsemanship Magazine showcased 2 articles of mine – The Art of Play, which you can read for free in the resources section. Play provides us with an excellent opportunity to fully engage with our horses on many levels: cognitively, physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually. It teaches horses and humans about sharing a learning experience. In horsemanship play is a wonderful tool in development of a shared language as it opens up two way communication. It builds self-esteem and self-confidence in both equine and human participants which enriches a shared supportive relationship. Play is wonderful for building mutual respect, trust and bonding.  There are so many benefits to engaging in play for both horses and humans.   

Shift your intention. Humans are very goal driven. So when we have a difficult to catch horse it is easy to get focused on catching the horse. Rather than step back and think why is the horse not happy to be caught? If you know the root-cause for example the horse is fearful, you can shift your intention from catching to being about helping the horse not to feel fearful, to relax, to trust and to be calm. Then guess what the catching problem usually fades away.  

Treats. I use positive reinforcement in horsemanship, so yes I have no problem using treats as a reward. However I teach a horse, a noise = a reward. It enables me to be very accurate in marking a behaviour that I am looking for. They have to earn the reward, learn and process what he has done to receive the treat. Plus note food as a reward is only one positive extrinsic motivational tool. There are lots of positive extrinsic motivational tools we can use. You can read for free about positive reinforcement in the Motivation series of articles that appeared in Horsemanship Magazine. You will find them on the published articles section. NEVER BRIBE a horse with food. It sets up lots of problems. 

There are plenty of techniques and strategies you can use to catch a horse, which as one size does not fit all, I can share one to one with you and your horse if needed. The ones that work permanently address the root cause as to why your horse doesn’t want to be caught. Most techniques use the language of the herd, habituation and desensitization, using a graded approach and retreat technique. If this is placed as highly as the relationship between you and your horse you will be on the right tracks. The aim is to not catch your horse but have your horse want to catch you. As a partnership you will both become confident, comfortable and trusting in each other. Think of the catching issue as an opportunity to change perceptions about the relationship between you and your horse.  Golden gifts are often wrapped in crappy paper. Reflect on how you can shape the time you spend together as from your horse’s perspective, what does he find enjoyable? Rewarding? Fun? Equestrianism is a human agenda, horses are not born with tack and equipment. So thinking more like a horse and the herd really helps here. If you can see the world from your horse’s view point and make the time fun the chances are your horse will choose to spend time with you.  

By investing in your horsemanship, you may just find the one piece of the jigsaw that makes your picture complete. Then you and your horse can live your shared equine dream. 

My definition of assertiveness in relation to horsemanship:

Assertive behaviour is about calmly, confidently communicating your message using the language of the herd. This is without aggressively disregarding or threatening the rights of the horse. It is not about dominance or not considering the horse. It is not submissively permitting the horse to ignore your conversation. It is a state of mind, how we feel and how we act. Being assertive involves taking into consideration both your own rights, wishes, wants, needs and desires, as well as those of the horse.  Assertiveness means listening to your horse, taking in their opinion, views, wishes and feelings, in order that both parties act appropriately. Assertiveness is about listening, understanding and honest open dialogue. It is learning to see eye to eye, treating your horse as a partner. Assertiveness is about being flexible and willing to compromise. There are times you should choose to be passive and times it is essential we are assertive. There is a scale of passive to assertive it is like fine tuning what you need at any given moment.

Watch how horses use assertiveness in their communication. Often a horse is chosen by others in the herd as one they take direction from. This horse’s behaviour is characterized by calm confident clear statements without using aggressive behaviour. A harmonious herd has a calm assertive horse that others like to spend time with. Watch closely and the horse that is aggressive and dominates others in the herd is not the one the herd look to for guidance and reassurance. We should aspire to using a calm assertive approach with our horses. 

Aggression: In its broadest sense is behaviour that is forceful, hostile or attacking. It is an intention to cause harm or an act intended to increase relative social dominance. Aggression can take a variety of forms and can be physical or be communicated verbally or non-verbally. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others (human or equine) and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. Aggressive behaviour is based on winning. Who the heck sees a relationship with their horse as one winning or losing? In my opinion this is a terrible path to go down. Aggression is taking what you want regardless, and you don't usually ask.

Aggression is a natural behaviour in horses and can involve bodily contact such as biting, kicking or pushing, but most conflicts are settled by threat displays, body language gestures and intimidation that cause no physical harm. Horses may use aggression to help secure territory, including resources such as food and water. Aggression between males often occurs to secure mating opportunities. Aggression may also occur for self-protection or to protect offspring. As attack is the best form of defence.

We have several behavioural drivers we can apply, passive, assertive, aggressive or manipulative. So to help you see the picture more fully, what are passive and manipulative behaviours? 

Passive Behaviour: Passive people tend to comply with the wishes of others at the expense of their rights and self-confidence. Many people adopt a passive response because they worry they will be disliked or will upset others (humans or their equine friends). They place greater weight on the rights, wishes and feelings of others. Being passive they hand over decision making and responsibility. Horses find comfort and safety by knowing you are the reliable, consistent and will be the one they can look to for guidance and reassurance. So by you being passive your horse will have to step up and make the decisions. Fine if your horse is confident and makes choices you agree with. There will be times your horse will lack confidence, feel fearful, anxious, etc…and look for guidance. At these times being passive will not help your horse. Without a trusted, calm assertive partner the horse will revert to instinctive behaviours, flight, fight, freeze, etc… Passive people have trouble in saying no and setting boundaries. If you own a very respectful and well educated horse being passive may not cause you many concerns. However with young horses, poorly educated horses, horses with negative past experiences, dominate horses, high spirited horses etc…you will have a problem if you are passive. Passive behaviour is often linked to poor self-confidence and self-esteem. In the herd horses use passive behaviours, you will observe this in many situations. It enables harmony. This is why being passive is an essential skill to learn with horses as there will be times you need to be passive.

Manipulative Behaviour: You will come across manipulative behaviour much more with humans than horses. In humans manipulative behaviour is about hidden agendas or motives. It is often very subtle and may be easily overlooked, buried under feelings of obligation, love, or habit. It is often controlling in nature and intent. In horses manipulative behaviour is very rare in the wild. However the behaviour can be learnt. For example the horse can learn to manipulate their human. Many horses I get called out with behavioural problems have effectively trained their human and manipulated the relationship to their advantage. This is because the horse lacks a respected, trusted, calm assertive partner. I also see humans trying to control their horse by using manipulative behaviours. In terms of the language of the herd and desirable human behaviour using manipulative behaviour is not healthy in any relationship.

In horsemanship I do not see it as a question of dominance and submission. In horsemanship any interaction is always a two-way process and therefore your reactions may differ, depending upon your relationship with the horse. You may find that you need to respond passively or assertively when you are communicating in different situations.  

Assertiveness helps us to:

• Control our anxiety…as anxiety and assertiveness are polar opposites
• Build confidence and self-esteem
• Create clear boundaries
• Increase awareness of personal rights and rights of others
• Be appropriate, as you will know the difference between passive, assertive, aggressive and manipulative behaviours. 

Most of us women are not raised to be assertive. Many struggle to know what assertiveness means, what it feels like, sounds like and looks like. Assertiveness is a skill you can learn. It is about learning both verbal and non-verbal assertiveness skills within our own language and species. As well as understanding assertiveness in terms of the language of the herd.  

Assertive behaviour in horsemanship includes:

• Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging your horse to do likewise.
• Listening to the views of your horse and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with these views or not.
• Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to your horse.
• Regularly expressing appreciation of what your horse has done or is doing.
• Being able to admit to mistakes, it is part of learning, apologise and move on.
• Maintaining self-control.
• Behaving as an equal with your horse.
• Putting the relationship first.

Assertiveness is a communication style and strategy. It is about how you deal with and view personal boundaries, your own and those of your horse. In horsemanship being a calm assertive partner is about setting clear boundaries using the language of the herd. This is along with being able to say no to your horse without feeling guilty. A small inner voice may know what is going on with your horse is about you setting boundaries and saying no, but because you lack assertiveness you find it impossible to put it into practice. It is often hard for people to say no to the ones they love, this includes their horse. Remember it’s not your horse you are rejecting, or not loving your horse. Being a calm assertive partner to your horse you will have acceptance and love in your heart. It’s about saying no to a behaviour and setting relationship boundaries. You are not rejecting your horse. 

A calm assertive partner is open to criticism from their horse. As horsemanship is open dialogue. Learn from what your horse tells you. Natural horsemanship gives you the skills to understand your horse’s communication. Many people are paralysed my perfection. You will make mistakes, so will your horse. When you get it wrong, listen to the criticism from your horse and view it as an opportunity to grow. Some people I go out to, are out their depth and don’t understand the criticism from their horse. Getting help, practical advice helps with how to do things differently. Think about your horse as a resource in helping you to develop. 

A calm assertive partner builds confidence in their horse. Giving your horse positive feedback, target and reward with positive reinforcement the things you liked / wanted. Help your horse to learn new skills, or change behaviours. Focus more on the positives and be generous with praise. Be clear and direct in your communication with your horse. There are assertiveness techniques you can use with your horse. Here are a few examples. 

The Broken Record

This is one of calm persistence of repeating the same horsemanship message again and again to your horse, without becoming angry or irritated. Consistently and calmly repeat the request, do not up your energy or engage in argument. Stay calm, clear and keep the message simple. You are able to compromise using the broken record technique. For example the smallest try for what you are looking for can be rewarded lavishly. Often the smallest try will be the first step in happily achieving the outcome you are looking for.

Fogging

Fogging is a useful technique when dealing with horses that are upset, angry or aggressive. Rather than arguing back, fogging is about giving a minimal, calm response. It’s about letting the horse express himself. We remain centred and calm, not arguing or being defensive or agreeing with the horse. You allow the horse to throw his arguments into a wall of fog that absorbs and has no bounce back. By not providing confrontation often it enables the horse to cease the behaviour and calm down. Then you are best able to look for the truth in the situation and suggest to the horse an appropriate direction to take.

Take Your Time

Very few things in horsemanship are emergency situations. A great assertiveness technique is to stop, centre yourself and take your time. This is a great tip, especially if you are feeling too emotional. It’s ok to time out and come back to things when you are calm and composed. It enables you to come at the communication more thoughtfully.

Calm Escalation

This type of assertiveness is sometimes necessary when your reasonable requests that your horse understands, is capable of doing are being ignored. I use low grade irritation, just like if you get in a car and try and drive away without fastening your seat belt the car pings at you until you fasten your seat belt, then rewards you by going silent once you comply. With horses I use a bridge noise that equals low grade irritation is coming. The low grade irritation can be as tickly a fly, using the ends of your reins, the end of your rope, or tickle with your stick. I do this in a cycle of three, first three tickles are so soft, then the next three a bit more, and the next three firmer and so on. As soon as the horse complies I quit the annoyance and reward generously.

Empathy and Compromise

With assertiveness it is essential we recognize our horse’s views the situation. If the horse is having problems, listen to understand and the path of the middle ground will open up before you. Humans tend to have all or nothing thinking and there is nearly always some middle ground that is the stepping stone to longer term success.    

Sadly many of people live in unhealthy relationships that are damaging to mind, body, spirt and soul. So do many horses.  A healthy relationship no matter if it is between people, or a human with a horse involves: love, respect, trust, and consideration for each other.

Trust in one’s self and each other is a foundation stone in any relationship. We all appreciate relationships that are reliable, honest and truthful.  Trust is belief in another’s integrity.  When we open up to trusting another we are vulnerable as we can easily be let down and hurt. Trust can take time to build. And actions of another can shatter trust in minutes. There is no quick fix once trust has been broken. How many of us live with or have daily interactions with other people where trust is broken? How does it impact on your interactions? What strategies do you have to put in place to live your life? How does it long term effect your physical and emotional wellbeing? Sometimes, when trust is repeatedly broken it is the end for some relationships. Humans have the freedom to leave or abandon unhealthy relationships. A horse has no choice but to endure until the human decides to part with the horse. There is no surprise that if trust and trustworthiness are issues within our own species that it surfaces in horsemanship too.

Broken trust is often just the tip of an ice burg as it is one sign of an unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. Abuse is easy to spot when there is violence. However abuse comes in many forms; controlling behaviour, manipulative behaviour, emotional abuse, intimidation, putdowns, betrayal, mistreatment, disrespect, lack of compassion and empathy, etc…. Plenty of horses come to us with trust issues from the hand of a previous owner. Sadly many are not treated respectfully and have been harmed physically or emotionally by another person. Some abuse is rife and is considered acceptable and normal in regard to management and training of horses. In extremes horses develop many behavioural strategies to survive including the sad souls of learnt helplessness.

2 legs or 4 we are sentient beings who need someone to listen to understand and support without judging. Be compassionate, act with empathy. No living creature was born to be mistreated. With a damaged horse we have to demonstrate we are trustworthy; have integrity, honesty and commitment to a relationship with the horse. We have to demonstrate we are deserving of trust, that we keep or promises, are dependable and reliable; as it takes huge courage for an individual to try trusting again. Once trust has been broken it is natural to develop coping mechanisms or pay the price with physical or emotional wellbeing. Some of these coping behaviours will be deeply embedded and reinforced. At best an individual will be sceptical. So will not be easily convinced and have doubts and reservations. The default will be cautious, to mistrust and have a questioning attitude. The instinct will be to check out your motivations, your intent and there will be a sharp evaluation and any incongruence will rattle them. They will have to travel from a negative position of no through a considerable amount of consideration and maybe to arrive at yes.

At worst the individual will not want to engage with you. There will be resistance, and even hostility or aggression, as attack is the best form of defence. My Merlot was at this point when I purchased him from an abusive home. He had a host of behaviours to make humans go away. These included rearing, biting, kicking and general aggressive threats.  

This is what I learnt from Merlot in regard to building trust.

• To demonstrate without any doubt I was reliable, dependable, honest, consistent, committed and trustworthy.
• To listen to him to understand.
• To be open to honest two way communication. For our interactions to be open dialogue. To be open to his criticism.
• Take time, as much time as we needed.
• Be dedicated.  I had to demonstrate to him no matter what I was someone he could always count on.
• Invest in the relationship. To truly know each other personally is essential.
• Not to take things personally. His behaviour that was linked to the mistrust issues he carried from his previous owner.
• Not to dismiss his issues but help Merlot to unpack them. 
• That love was always at the centre of all our interactions.
• Above all I had to demonstrate industrial quantities of integrity and unwavering loyalty. 

Sadly as a species, humans do not have a great track record for trustworthiness. We can all relate to once bitten twice shy with those who have broken trust.  So I am not saying we should blindly trust in one another as clearly there are people who cannot and should not be trusted. Actions in resolution to mending broken trust will tell you if these people place a value on the relationship they damage. So I suggest once can be a mistake, twice maybe an error in judgement, but anyone who repeatedly breaks your trust you should be careful in allowing their influence in your world.

This is a lesson for us to think about in regard for how much we ask our horses to trust in us. If we want that trust we must be trustworthy. Horses give us the opportunity to truly learn to trust in ourselves, in each other and the personal qualities it takes to be trustworthy. We can take these lessons forward into all our interactions, which could open up a world that is for the betterment of humanity and horses.  

Horses are not born with a saddle on their back or wearing harness. Riding or driving horses is totally a human agenda. Yet mostly what we see in the equine world is about riding or preparing horses to be ridden. Today equines are used in many different disciplines, for sport, practical work, pleasure, etc.  We must never forget that this has evolved over thousands of years as the horse has had a place by man’s side throughout history worldwide. This brings with it tradition and culture in approaches towards the horse. There are growing number of people who are seeking a better way and questioning the status quo. Practices are being closely examined and bad practice condemned. Research is now showing certain sports or training approaches may cause stress, discomfort and even pain. It is a vast hot topic for debate about the ethics of riding and how horses are trained, physically and mentally. This will evolve over time with human understanding of the horse being a sentient being. We should ask more questions that focus on how the horse might feel, what it thinks, wants, needs, desires, enjoys, etc. This will open up a lively conversation and debate that in turn will shape up ethical approaches with horses.  

We must never forget there are economic factors that also shape our relationship with horses. A lot of money is invested in many equine disciplines and sports. The equine world has big organisations and business that invest in marketing and selling to us. Sadly the horse is often seen as a disposable commodity. We live in a throw away culture, and horses once they cannot give the human what it was bought for are often put to sleep or moved on. The responsible and difficult decisions are unpalatable and extremely hard. I know first-hand the heartache in this decision making process. Many horses change hands with the truth hidden for the next owner to unravel, with the rollercoaster ride and heartache that goes with it. Plenty of horses float round the system physically and or mentally broken with resulting behavioural issues. Where money is a factor with horses ultimately it can have an impact on welfare in some way. Not many of us are able to sign a blank cheque in difficult circumstances for our equines. It is not surprizing that given these factors non ridden horses are seen to have very little economic value and often face a bleak future. Even those that get the job of being a companion to a ridden horse often get treated like a second class citizen. Plus owners of non-ridden equines often face criticism and find themselves having to defend their choices over keeping a horse that is seen by others to have little or no use.   

There is a world out there beyond being a companion to a ridden equine. Some non-ridden equines are lucky to have humans who value and treasure them. You can have lots of fun playing with your horse. For example something as simple as teaching your horse to target touch can lead onto playing football. Getting creative about how you play is great fun, think about what your horse enjoys. Some like to problem solve, others like to let off steam, others like gentle play. Read for FREE my article the Art of Play that appeared in Horsemanship Magazine. You can extend play into the sport of Horse Agility and if you and your horse enjoy it there are opportunities to compete. These are just a few suggestions of many wonderful activities you and your horse can enjoy that are not ridden. I wrote a Non Ridden Equine Resource Pack for The Non Ridden Equine Association UK celebrations for International Non Ridden Day. It is FREE to download. You can click here for your FREE copy.    

If your horse adores being pampered, maybe in-hand showing could be your thing and you don’t even have to leave home to compete, you can compete on-line too.  There are businesses offering these opportunities for non-ridden equines. Click here to visit the Non Ridden Equine Association UK website it has a list of on-line showing platforms. 

There is far more to having a horse than riding or competitions. Having a horse in your life is great for mind, body, spirit and soul. When I look at a horse I see a spirit and soul looking back at me. For me horsemanship is a unique spiritual bond, a connection between two souls. Interspecies soul companions with a deep understanding of each other to form a very special relationship. I have championed this for many years. I am passionate about what horses bring to us, the opportunities they provide us with for personal development and wellbeing. I freely share my insights and knowledge on this and several articles have been published which you can now read for FREE. 

I have helped many people to enjoy their horses without riding being part of the agenda. Our horse Kez is an Irish cob and a non-ridden horse. He is a beautiful soul, who is smart, clever, intelligent, keen to learn, loves to play and a joy to have in our lives. He has so much to give and a huge loving heart. There are so many like him, many are unwanted, some suffering neglect, some floating around the system with undiagnosed health problems, some waiting to be rehomed in rescue centres etc. Our Kez is truly an ambassador who I hope can inspire other people to look at giving horses like him the opportunity to blossom. These horses give to humanity far more than what riding gives us.