Non ridden started because of me,

The rich diversity is out there to see.

The equine world is in love with riding,

So non ridden was often hiding.

The equine industry can be cruel,

Often only seeing sentient souls as a tool.

We stood up and spoke out,

Then got judged and kicked about.

Bullying is out there two legs or four,

We got battered and knocked to the floor. 

Harassed and pressured enough to cry,

We refuse to go to our limits and die.

We are not alone in being abused,

Some love to watch to be amused.

The equine industry infighting is rife,

And the fallout causes harm to life.

All souls should be cherished and seen,

Sadly plenty don't care and are mean.

Will we be silenced in our mission?

No, not while some want to listen.

Self-interest at heart from external force,

Pushed us about with no remorse.

Yet here we stand and try our best,

Because we have faced a bigger test.

Battling cancer and going to hell's gates,  

We have all done it on team Yates.

Facing mortality life is a precious gift,

And bovine faecal matter we refuse to sift.

Kez x ❤ x

There comes points in everyone’s life where we can get stopped in our tracks. Life events, health, family, friends, relationships, work, circumstances, etc.….These can all play a part in our physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual wellbeing. My mental wellbeing is my number one priority. Everything else must follow from my mental wellbeing. I can say this with conviction as I have walked through hells gates, looked at my inner demons and done my inner work. It is not pink and fluffy. It is hard, very hard, but so worth it.

I have not shared until now my story. It was too brutal to share while raw. But now I will share my story. Why? It is part of the healing process for me to accept the journey. To celebrate being the other side.  I share my story as may be it could help in some way for others to see they can reach out for help and not suffer in silence. Or take their life.   

In February 2018 I found a lump in my breast. By March 2018 the whirlwind of cancer treatment started, tests, scans, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. No one can prepare for a life altering diagnosis, or know how they will cope. My biggest fear was becoming mentally unwell. Chemotherapy was so toxic, my body reacted so badly it had to be stopped as it was too dangerous to continue. And yes mentally I spiralled into the darkness. I reached out for help in total 14 times to different professionals connected to my care. And all that happened was assessment after assessment to be passed from pillar to post into a system that is oversubscribed, under-funded and at breaking point. I eventually got help via the hospital in 2018. Limited help, but extremely good help that I am so grateful for. I was lucky to receive amazing healing from Sally Anne Roberts. Plus I used my own Reiki healing. Along with the love and healing gifts from family, friends, Marley our dog and Kez our horse.

Cancer is a friend filter. For so many reasons. It is really hard to witness another soul suffering. Not many can just be with another during the darkest times. As the human condition is to fix, save, rescue and leave. Yet no one could fix, save or rescue me. The very acts come from a good place to rescue, fix or save me, the links to cures, the links to charities that offer help, the well-meaning unsolicited advice did more for the person giving them than it did for me. At best I feel unsolicited advice is misguided and at worst word vomit. All I needed was for my soul to be seen, someone to just sit with me in my suffering. Not many people have the strength to do this, as it is hard, really hard. Cancer filtered out the people who had conditions attached to the relationship. When I could no longer do or give I was no longer of use to them. And a few even kicked me while I was down.

2019 I slowly tried to rebuild my life from the carnage cancer had done to it. It had taken my work, my independence and my identity. I struggled to find my pathway forward. At this stage I had been out of the hands of help with my mental wellbeing. But I was far from in a good place. I struggled on trying, however try as hard as I could I didn’t make progress. My healing journey wasn’t done. It was far from done. The anti-cancer drugs I have to take have a list of side effects as long as your arm….and I have most of them. Plus the physical changes including lymphoedema cancer gifted me I was struggling to adjust to living with this too. To accept, adjust and learn I hadn’t yet done. From my experience of reaching out for help and knowing how hard it is to get help….I struggled on the best I could. However I reached a crisis point and could no longer cope and at the start of 2020 I nearly took my own life. If my mum hadn’t been about I would have done it. I wasn’t waving I was drowning. I knew I needed urgent help.

After a long wait I got assessed again and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and fragile self-identity. And then the familiar rounds of being passed from pillar to post….round the system and no help arriving. Eventually I took the courage to self-refer to Arty Folk and Able Futures. Both have helped me in very different ways. I also accessed help again via the hospital psychology department with the same psychologist I saw in 2018. All of 2020 was inner work. The PTSD had not only issues relating to the cancer, but to my childhood. It triggered and brought back what I suffered at the hands of my abusive biological father. The PTSD I had the most terrifying flash backs, anxiety and fear. The inner work had to dig deep into my very soul, the essence of me, including the inner child. The healing had to travel back in time to the abuse I suffered as a child. It had to heal the past and present and give room for a future.

The end of 2020 I was finally signed off from the help and I went into 2021 ready to start finding my path. The healing journey from diagnosis has been 3 years, and I have learnt it will be ongoing. I invest heavily in my own wellbeing. I have to or there is nothing I can do for others. It’s not being selfish.  I cannot pour from an empty cup. I have also learnt a great deal about myself, the good, the bad and the ugly on this journey. I have learnt that I have coping strategies that go back to my childhood. To run and hide, to remove myself from situations when I cannot cope. Just as a child I would try to make myself out of sight of my father. They are deeply engrained, and many may struggle to understand why when I am not coping I withdraw. I am now aware of this trait. Plus how I became a people pleaser, due to never being good enough in my father’s eyes. How I repeated the same pattern in an abusive relationship as I felt I wasn’t worthy. And how I have always pushed myself harder to prove myself, when in reality, just being me should be good enough. And plenty more I learnt about myself.                 

I now know to look out for my warning signs. And when I see them I know I must not ignore them. We are culturally conditioned to take on more stress, pressure and wear it as a badge of pride. So it goes against social conditioning to say no to stress and pressure yet this is the one thing I must do before my limits are reached. Yes my limits are far less than many other peoples. As I am a sensitive soul. Being a sensitive soul, many have used this against me, judged me and ridiculed me. I can no more change this than fly to the moon. Being sensitive is in fact a gift that enables me to have compassion, empathy, and a spiritual awareness.

My mental wellbeing is the key to me being able to move forward. To tap into my intuition, energy and spiritual pathway. It enables me to gift this to others. To make meaningful contributions to other souls.

I sit at a crossroads again in life. With decisions to make. This time in regards to the non ridden agenda I started back in 2017. Thousands have joined the original Non Ridden Equine Facebook group. And a small group of us got together and launched the not for profit Non Ridden Equine Association UK in 2017. I was a very different person when I started this ball rolling. I had no idea how it would grow. Or how life would take me down my own healing journey. The crossroads for me is the non ridden equine agenda is out there. It has always been out there, now more seen. I am delighted it is in so many rich and diverse forms. The Non Ridden Equine Association UK is a platform to celebrate this diversity. However the equine industry isn’t an easy place. I knew this when I started out in 2017 as I was a horsemanship practitioner. What I have become aware of is I have changed. And I have zero desire and tolerance to be pulled into the stress, pressure and unpleasantness of this world. And recently exactly this has been my experience. So I am left pondering how I balance my own emotional wellbeing against continuing with the Non Ridden Equine Association UK. There must be a balance in all things for it to be sustainable. What I put in to what I get out. I put in plenty and what I get back is mostly stress and pressure. It has got so bad recently it has reached my limits. It feels like a thankless task and a heavy weight. So I have stepped back and away for a while to give myself space and time to reflect on if I continue or walk away. This is where I am at…..pondering.

I ponder my own views on what I want to be doing with non ridden. Do I want to be pushed and pulled about by others and their agendas? No I don’t. Maybe the industry is so fractured and divided they will never treasure a collective platform? May be I am better just doing my own small thing in my own small way? I certainly don’t owe anyone anything. As everything I have done for non ridden I have gifted from my heart for free at a period in my life I have profoundly struggled. So if I do decide to walk away from the Non Ridden Equine Association UK it will be because of the pressures of the industry brought to my door because I am the one leading the Non Ridden Equine Association UK not the because of the needs of non ridden equines and people who choose not to ride. If I walk away it will be with hand on heart I tried my very best. If I walk away I will take all my hard work, intellectual property and lessons learnt with me so the Association will be no more. May be I will be use it in a different direction. May be not. At the moment these are all ponderings….ifs....something has to change. I am realistic to know the industry is slow to change. I am realistic that not many give up their time and expertise for free. So I will be surprised if change arrives. And I can no more change to be a different person….and this person has reached her limits.     

May be people need to step up and appreciate what has been gifted for FREE before it is too late. Or was the Non Ridden Equine Association UK never wanted or needed? Feedback is minimal. Mostly when people do get in touch it is about negative inner fighting between professionals or fighting and bickering with fellow non ridden equine Facebook members or about their personal agenda / business.  

I refuse to be pulled under by pressure and stress. I will put myself first. I may have planted the seed. However the garden management is not something I wish to deal with if it is unruly and puts me in a position of compromise.     

I only started the non ridden ball rolling because of our horse Kez. I don't get paid for this work. I have done it all because I care....bit by bit the joy is being taken away. I pray the joy can return. 

Update - Since writing this blog the decision has been made. The Non Ridden Equine Association UK has been closed down. Not a decision made by myself. The committee of the Non Ridden Equine Association UK have been very concerned for my wellbeing. Plus none on the committee need the stress, pressure or harassment

The Non Ridden Equine Facebook group remains, strong, healthy and now with added protection so this cannot be destroyed by the equine industry.

I personally I stood up for non ridden and over the years been shot at and been on the receiving end of plenty of harassment. It had recently become unbearable. The unpleasantness and bullying from external professionals including leaning legally on the not for profit Non Ridden Equine Association UK made it impossible to continue. My health was suffering. Sadly the industry is rife with in fighting and bullying. The feedback since closing is the general public really appreciated the offering and are sad to see it close. However very few professionals who we showcased have been in touch. It shows the industry didn't cherish the platform that was set up for them to showcase their work for free. I will say this is just typical of the equine industry that says it cares for equines. In reality they are only interested in serving their own interests above the wider agenda. They are happy to treat me unethically too. I am sure everyone will agree it is unethical to push me to the point of my wellbeing suffering serious harm. I am a sentient soul, so are equines…..and I have suffered significantly. My husband and family will happily tell anyone who wants to know to what extent I have suffered. To save myself was at the price of the Non Ridden Equine Association UK. 

I am taking time now to ensure all my intellectual property that I created for the non ridden equine agenda is kept safe. I have started to put the resources I wrote for the Non Ridden Equine Association UK onto my own website so people can continue to access them for FREE. You will find them on the Horsemanship Resources section. My own personal path non ridden continues. I will continue to promote non ridden, however not with shared platform for others. My lesson has been learnt here. 2021 has shown me how little people really treasure others, how little is appreciated when gifts are given. It has shown me how people will bash me and not care about the damage they inflict because it is more important to further their own interests. It will not stop me gifting out to the world. If you check out the resources section I have a huge body of work I freely gift, no strings attached.  

The change I would love to see happen for non ridden equines most likely will not happen in my lifetime. My lone voice will never influence change. I am realistic that what I have to say on the matter and the resources I have are tiny compared to the issues out there. I am like a single cell organism floating in a vast sea. The issues are huge and complex with their roots in cultural conditioning. Plus I must float in the waters with the big fish, some that could eat me and destroy what I have tried to put out there. It takes courage to stand up and be shot at.    

The reality is change is in all our hands. The power of the collective is something that cannot be ignored. A single snowflake makes no impression, a vast snowfall can stop everything in its path and require attention. Yet a call out to all who share the non ridden call….how many hear?

Why will change be slow? Here I share my personal observations from years in the equestrian world that lead me to conclude why change will be slow. I could be right or wrong….they are just my personal observations.   

Sadly the equine world is fractured and divided. Even when the provision of the website platform for all - the Non Ridden Equine Association UK which is there to celebrate the rich diversity of non ridden I have discovered you cannot please everyone. I invite people to contribute to the resources and yes there are people who are generous and give to the wider cause. However mostly people are precious about their hard earnt knowledge and do not want to contribute. Is it because of financial pressure? Time? Or something else that stops them?

I sit and observe very few are willing to promote or share the FREE resources already on offer on the Non Ridden Equine Association UK website. They may not want to promote the wider non ridden agenda? Maybe they see no value to share? Or only see the benefit of their own agenda? Is it the divisions in the equine world that mean people are extremely reluctant to share these FREE resources on the Non Ridden Equine Association UK website? Maybe people don’t want to? Maybe they see it as not their responsibility?

I don’t have the answers….It would be good to have some. So if you want to leave a response this is a blog with the facility to leave your feedback.   

I certainly know the equine world can be a very harsh place. I have been on the receiving end personally of judgement, criticism and felt isolated. It is common in the real equine world and on social media to see the divisions: anti this and that, cliques, clubs, and closed circles. Judgement and criticism and even bullying. Passions run over and well-meaning unsolicited advice has the potential to cause deep wounds and pain. Then the ethics of how we interact with equines is a hot topic and one that certainly divides the equine world.

Support for our fellow human is often in short supply. Maybe because we all live with challenges others know nothing about and spend our lives just trying to keep our own heads above water and not drown. If we have little in the way of capacity to give outside of ourselves we can only be in survival mode. That is a state many find themselves in especially in the challenging world we live in due to the carnage Covid has brought into how we live our lives. I am certain this is a factor for individuals and business. Self-healing time is something we all need to cherish and value. As without it we have little to give others.

Then there is the fast pace of modern life, social media is a good example. Everything is chip paper in minutes. What may hold interest is fleeting and soon forgotten. The throw away culture, the quick fixes, fashions and trends. I love how our equines are the absolute opposite of this and offer us a doorway to being grounded and in nature. It is an excellent way to step off the crazy wheel. The call to not get back on that crazy wheel is strong. So strong. However who will speak up for non ridden equines? So I get back out there and do the best I can. And why.....because of our horse Kez. He is my daily inspiration that more must be done. 

Are you waiting for someone else to make the change happen? Chances are if yes, it will take much longer for the change you want to see happen arrive. Yes one voice can create ripples, however for real change to happen it takes the power of the collective. Each of us has the power to contribute to the change we want to see. The richer and more diverse those voices the wider the message will travel.

In 2017 my husband Steve and I started the original Non Ridden Equine Facebook Group because our horse Kez cannot be ridden due to health conditions. Little did we know when we launched thousands would join. Or what journey we would end up taking. It was so clear that much more was needed for non ridden equines and for people who choose not to ride. As the prevailing equine culture has a very strong bias towards riding. Later in 2017 bravely a small group of us called upon our courage to go well and truly outside our comfort zones and set up the not for profit Non Ridden Equine Association UK. This provides a central platform for a rich diversity of non ridden to be showcased and to provide a FREE resource bank to inspire, delight and educate. 

It is sadly true there is much work to be done for non ridden to be seen to have equal value to riding. I am not anti-riding nor is the non ridden equine agenda of the Non Ridden Equine Association UK, we simply would love to see non ridden alongside riding. The wish is for it to be culturally accepted, and seen normal to own an equine and choose not to ride. After all a horse is not born with a saddle, riding is a human agenda.

I would love each and every person to see individually they have the power to influence change.

How can you influence change?

• Share your non ridden stories and experiences. Too many of us are silent. We just get on with our lives. Stories are massively inspirational and really important. Your stories really matter. You may not be good with words. Don’t let that put you off. I am dyslexic, yet I have found my voice and share what I can. Stories are not always words, they can be images, photographs, videos and in the art we create. Stories are often verbal, ones we tell our friends and family. Stories are often what we do….people around see our stories. We have non ridden equine social media groups where people can share their stories, but sharing outside of these groups is vital for change to happen. Thank you to every single person who bravely shares their non ridden equine stories. Some are so personal and profound, others simply celebrate the everyday joys of non ridden. All stories matter.     
• The prevailing culture and social conditioning will only change if a large number of people want it to change and come together. The power of the collective is real and unstoppable. The original Non Ridden Equine Facebook Group has over 20,000 members, in a worldwide group. In the scheme of things, this is a tiny drop in the ocean compared to globally how many equestrians are out there. The Non Ridden Equine Association UK is also a tiny spec in the equestrian ocean. However people are finding us. And what has been started is making a difference. Are you joining the non ridden voices?
• How can you make a difference? Why not tell people about the FREE non ridden equine resources? Yes they are FREE. Click here to check them out. These resources are not anti-riding, so of huge benefit to all who love equines. I share these resources often. I hardly ever see anyone else sharing these resources. I wonder why? I have nothing to personally gain from sharing these resources. I don’t get paid for the hours I invest in the non ridden equine agenda, and I no longer teach horsemanship so I have zero to financially gain. What I share is signposting people to a wonderful rich diverse resource so people can choose what feels right for them and their equine. I do it because I believe more must be done for change to happen. If you want change to happen why not share what is out there?
• Be part of the change. So everyone can be part of the change The Non Ridden Equine Association UK is hosting International Non Ridden Equine Weekend 1^st May 2^nd May 2021.  There are lots of FREE resources to help people to celebrate non ridden in its rich diversity.  The weekend celebrations are for all who love equines, non riders, riders, owners of non ridden equines, ridden equines. We welcome all from novice to professionals, individuals to businesses. Everyone can enjoy non ridden. For everyone there are wonderful FREE to access resources so you can be inspired to do some non ridden equine activities.
• For Businesses (this includes all types of business, sole traders, not for profit, charities, commercial businesses, etc) International Non Ridden Equine Weekend is an ideal opportunity to get involved to showcase your work, to offer something special for the weekend, an event, a discount, a giveaway, a competition, etc. Click here for more information 

Our horse Kez is the reason this all started. However I am only one voice. There are limits to what alone I can do. The change I would love to see happen most likely will not happen in my lifetime. I have seen my own mortality and I fear on my death the momentum will also die if others do not embrace the call. So my wish is many as possible pick up the non ridden equine message. Change is in all our hands.