People have said to me how lucky our horse Kez is. Just so you can decide if he is lucky here is some background on Kez. My husband and I purchased Kez in late November 2015 to share as a riding horse. He was purchased from a friend who is also a dealer. We paid the going market price for Kez as a horse suitable for riding activities. November passed settling him in, followed quickly by the run up to Christmas, and the wintery weather. Plus in the new year I badly injured my foot so riding and groundwork went out the window for several months at the start of 2016. When the spring of 2016 arrived and we had more opportunities to start doing things with Kez. Fairly soon we discovered Kez with some activities. So our good friend Kathryn Welland from Oaklands Physiotherapy was called out. She gave us plenty to add into our programme. Our programme had been very carefully planned, gentle, no rushing. It was a mixture of horsemanship groundwork, physio exercises, short gentle hacks mostly in walk (max 30 mins). The second physio visit noted some improvements, however the treatment resulted in it was clear there was something wrong. So the vet was called. During the summer 2016 Kez underwent lots of tests with our local vet. The local vets struggled to get a diagnosis. So autumn 2016 Kez was referred to Newmarket Equine Hospital. Kez was at Newmarket for a week and finally we got a diagnosis of inter-spinal ligament damage on the left plus he has hock problems. The conditions cannot be cured, only managed. So under discussion with the specialist vet at Newmarket and our local vet my husband and I retired Kez from ridden activities. We will continue to work with our vet and other health care providers in management of his conditions and will do so for the rest of his life.

Kez isn’t lucky to have dreadful conditions.

However Kez Maybe Lucky Because We Promise Him:

• To listen and understand. We know Kez and other horses are genuine souls. Kez always tries hard to please. So we knew he was finding certain things difficult. We listened and got the right professionals on board early on.  
• To live free from pain, injury and disease. This should be a promise to every horse. When things go wrong bills can get very expensive very quickly. For us it was essential for Kez to have an accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment.  We are committed to ensuring Kez’s conditions are managed carefully. We aim to keep Kez pain free and to manage the discomfort of his conditions by following the professional support and advice from our vet. Plus invest in regular complimentary therapies that greatly enhance Kez’s quality of life.
• Freedom from distress. Our pledge is to give Kez the best opportunity to be physically as well as he can be and to be emotionally happy. However when the time comes that his conditions cannot be managed and it causes him distress we will not shy away from the last kindness.
• Put his needs above our desires. We have given up our riding dreams and aspirations. We have grieved and shed tears. However when push comes to shove we are 100% committed to our horse not to our original equine dream. So now we must look in a different direction for a new equine dream, one in which our horse shapes it's agenda and path. 
• Write off the costs in purchase. We purchased and paid market value for a riding horse and paid as such. What we in effect we got was a horse we could have had from a rescue centre. Yes it can leave a bitter taste in your mouth. However none of this was Kez's doing and he doesn't owe us anything.
• Not to pass him on. Lots of other horses like Kez get passed on with the truth hidden onto an unsuspecting new owner. Many like Kez are sold with the truth hidden so people can recoup money or to make a profit.  Others get passed through a noisy auction.  
• To give him a loving home. We know there are hundreds like Kez who are non-ridden equines are waiting in rescue centres in slim hope for a loving one to one home. Yet they have so much to give. 
• To ensure his needs are met. We will make sure he has the correct management, provide him with an appropriate diet, equine friendship, a shelter for him to relax and rest.
• Value and cherish him. Sadly we all see how little value is placed on horses like Kez. We are in the grip of a dreadful equine crisis in the UK. Horses like Kez are dumped and left to die.
• To do our best. Will strive to do the best we can with the resources we have. We will look for ways to enrich Kez’s life so he can enjoy activities within his physical limitations. We want Kez to be able to enjoy his life to the full.    

I have seen inside Kez's soul. Kez is a sentient soul; we value him and treasure him. With us Kez is safe, loved, cared for and cherished. He shows me the lessons I must learn. He is inspiration to shine a light for the thousands of others like him. I will learn from Kez as I have from all my horses.

So is Kez lucky?

How lucky are other horses?

It is a myth that relaxed people cannot achieve their dreams. It is the thinking which equates being hurried, competitive and being able to handle more and more stress is the sign of an achiever. Relaxed people and horses can be achievers. Enormous amounts of energy are used being hurried, competitive and stressed. It prevents you connecting with inner peace, which is magnetic to horses.

Horses are drawn to relaxed, peaceful people who demonstrate calm assertive horsemanship. They need a calm partner especially when stressed, fearful, anxious or tense. You can learn the art of relaxation with techniques that tap into the language of the herd. If the art of relaxation is mastered you can teach your horse to relax and look to you for guidance, be calm and think rather than react.

What inhibits relaxation? Answer: It is some personal inner struggle. For others it is high levels of anxiety, fear, stress or depression. The barriers that prevent you relaxing can be linked to life events, some are deep rooted, cultural or health related. Often people cannot identify what is the root cause and see the effects with their horse, as horses are divine mirrors to our energy state. A horse can reflect back at you what is going on in your life. Some folk have lost touch with what relaxation feels like. Some people find it hard to switch off from their fast paced lives, heavy responsibilities, never ending to do list, etc…. They feel the urge to be doing. We are human beings not human doings. Some of us have lost touch with simply being, slowing down, doing nothing, relaxing, being calm and finding inner peace. Try just being with your horse. Not as easy as it sounds. This inner struggle is a sign that things need to change. 

As a culture we don’t place much value on relaxing. We are raised to take on more and more pressure, and live fast paced lives. Stress, anxiety, worry are so common in this world. Fact - It is impossible to be tense, worried, and anxious or stressed at the same time as being relaxed. They are polar opposites. Naturally horses don’t sign up to stress, anxiety in the herd, they value harmony, relaxation and calmness. Yet horses do suffer from stress, anxiety, fear, tension because of modern management practices and training approaches to the horse. There are so many benefits relaxation brings; here I have listed just a few: 

• Higher achievement and better communication
• Open mindedness and creativity
• Faster, clearer learning plus easier problem solving
• Control of situations, it takes the drama out
• Better understanding, control of emotions, and a balanced state of mind
• Increase in calmness
• Reduction of anxiety and stress
• Decrease muscle tension
• Lower blood pressure
• A better quality of life
• An awareness of everything around you
• It is great for physical and mental health and wellbeing

The key to success is learning to value relaxation, and see the positive impact it can bring to your life. Then you need to actively incorporate relaxation into your daily life. Yes relaxation can be practiced anywhere, anytime and in any situation. There are techniques you can do that are invisible to those around you. In horsemanship it can be practiced on your journey to the yard, during yard duties, on the ground with your horse and in the saddle.      

Relaxation is a technique to learn and master. There are many techniques: meditation, breathing, visualisation, yoga, exercise, etc.… Many cross the species divide. I teach people many different relaxation techniques that are also embedded into the language of the herd. I  provide one to one tutoring and workshops. It is great to fully explore different techniques. Some you may find easier than others, as it's a skill that needs practice. Practice makes perfect. Once you are able to tap into relaxation you can actively choose that as a tool to compliment your horsemanship communication. 

Turn up with a relaxed inner peace and your horse will notice. If this is a huge change your horse may be puzzled. Where did the high energy, buzzy, stressed, anxious person go? Keep test driving being a relaxed calm assertive partner to your horse. Tap into using relaxation, intent, balanced energy and calm assertiveness and take your horsemanship to another level. Notice how other areas of your life will benefit too.  

It depends on your view point as to if you see the word ornament as a term for ridicule or a compliment in terms of a non ridden equine. Personally I love the word ornament. I for one think any field is greatly improved by the addition of a beautiful horse. I think us owners of non ridden equines should champion the word ornament and embrace it. If we do the word ornament cannot be used to ridicule the non ridden equine or folk who choose not to ride. It is a beautiful wonderful word.

For me the definition of ornament when applied to an equine is:-

Ornament can be one of cherishing and treasuring. As ornaments are used throughout history for religion, ceremony and worship and are often precious, held in high esteem and seen as sacred. And there is a tide of change that now many see the horse for the horse not what it can do for man. And these equines are cherished and treasured.   

Ornament can be to describe beauty and equines are incredibly beautiful. There is that magical blend of beauty, nature, power, gentleness, soul, spirit and more.

Ornament can be an equine that brings to us humans lessons and they are to be credited to our understanding, our personal development and the good of society, and era, etc. The horse has been by man’s side throughout history and shaped us and is continuing to shape our thinking. A thought to ponder: horses have always had a place by man’s side of adorning and being adorned.  

Ornament can mean a quality or ability to add grace, beauty, or honour to something. I personally think this sits so well with equines. Our equine’s qualities and virtues can shape people in profound and life changing ways. They bring way more than a shine and lustre to a place or society.  

Ornament can be about counterbalancing plainness or ugliness. And there is plenty of plainness and ugliness in the equine world. So I have no problem if my pasture ornament brings something different that contributes to the joy of horse ownership. And my non ridden Kez every day is an inspiration for me.  

Next time your horse is referred to as a pasture or field ornament again, it can only be seen as ridicule if your perception of the word ornament allows it. For me it is a compliment. Maybe the person using the term is not educated? As for sure there are many rich and diverse meaning of the word and how it can be applied in so many contexts.   

Success with horses requires us to be ethical in our interactions. To use logical training based on the language of the horse, which is enjoyable, rewarding and fun. However without commitment and consistency all will be lost. When folk invest in learning and development of their horsemanship and are committed and consistent nothing will hold them back and progress will be made. What in practice often happens for many reasons is sessions with their horse get cancelled, other things in life get prioritised and what has been gained melts away. Or they chop from one path to another looking for that fix it method. Forgetting the progress they have previously made before they lacked consistent commitment to see it through. 

The modern world is fast paced, throw away, gadget fix, and want it now. If what you truly want is a magical connection and bond with your horse you won’t find it in that thinking. You will find it in patience and dedication to the horse along with a commitment to quality consistent practice. People get 100% commitment from me when I work with them and their horse. I am more than willing to go the extra mile and not measure financial gain against the clock.

I have clients who don’t commit to me, for many reasons. It doesn’t change how I feel about what I offer. I always give people and horses I work with 100% commitment from me. The horse needs it, and the horse’s owner needs to learn commitment more than anything else I could teach them. So people who leave and take a different path and return they are always welcome.

If I could change the horse world for the better it would be for people to really understand their horse. To see the world as the horse sees it. Be committed to using consistent ethical horsemanship. Only using the qualities such as patience, kindness and love embedded into every interaction. With results gained through trust, bond and partnership.

So how many of us make a pledge to our horse to strive to better our best? How many of us are dedicated to our horse? Or are we dedicated to what we want from horse ownership? These can be very difficult and uncomfortable questions. We all own horses for very personal reasons and it doesn't make one reason right and another wrong. It is hard when your personal dream and the reality of what is in front of you are miles apart. This is when some serious soul searching has to be done. At times there will be ethical choices that require us to put our own wants, needs and desires to one side for what is best for our horse.

• A Horse with Medical Conditions. This can be very emotionally painful; especially when the horse in question was purchased with a dream and purpose in mind. Some of these horses have the truth of underlying conditions hidden. Here we have to decide are we committed to this horse? Or are we committed to our equine dream? It is expensive to fix a broken horse or cure medical conditions, often with no guarantee of success. Some horses cannot be mended. The bills can run into thousands very quickly. That road is an emotional roller-coaster. Even when you get the green light go from the vet, physio, etc....to start working on the road to rehab a horse it's never an easy road. There will be ups and downs and sometimes the going is so slow and with very little progress. Some horses are not just physically damaged they carry the emotional damage too. So for some horses it can take industrial amounts of unpacking to get the job done. Some of these horses never return to being ridden, some do. If these horses with physical and or emotional limitations can no longer match the original dreams and aspirations then ethically it is wrong to try to push the horse to bridge the gap. If we are committed to this horse we must grieve our dreams and aspirations and pack them away. We have to make the very best of what we can with this horse. If we are committed to our equine dream then we must be honest and ethical look for a new equine partner that can easily help us live this dream. It is then a question of what happens to the horse that cannot give you your dream. Ethically you should ensure this horse has a good quality of life. Either with you or if you decide to part with this horse some very difficult decisions need to be carefully considered.  If you sell the horse on with full disclosure of all medical conditions it will not guarantee the new owner won’t either ignore them or sell the horse on with the truth hidden. And so the suffering cycle continues.     
• Being Over Horsed. It is very common for people find themselves over horsed, if this is you are not alone. The result is dreams lay shattered at their feet.  Here the person needs to be brutally honest and decide if they are committed to consistent horsemanship input from a professional to grow into their horse. Half measures of wishy washy stop start will do nothing for bridging the gap or building confidence. This is an opportunity for growth, learning and being a better horseman. Yes there will be set backs too and the relationship with your horsemanship practitioner really matters. As there will be times you feel like giving up, that is part of the course. This is when you must be honest and talk it through with your trainer. If someone is not committed to this journey or feels the gap is too big then for the sake of the horse it is best the person is 100% committed to finding a brilliant new home for their horse.  This is not failing the horse, this is being honest, kind and caring.  
• Being Under Horsed. Yes this can happen, some horses have limits physically and emotionally and if this doesn’t match your level of horsemanship it is very unfair and unethical to push a horse to bridge the gap. Here if we are committed to the horse we must notch back our aspirations and be very mindful not to ask too much. If we are committed to our dream maybe a new equine partner which is better matched is the way forward. Again we must ethically do what is right for the other horse.
• Building Confidence. If you suffer from a loss of confidence, fear, anxiety, the what ifs, negative inner dialogue, etc….it can seriously damage the relationship between you and your horse. It can stop you enjoying your horse or doing the things you once found easy. It will even stop you from giving it a try. Horses too suffer from fear, anxiety, stress and loss of confidence. Here the blame game adds to the problem; don’t blame yourself or your horse. The answer here is to be committed to consistently working on this. There are no short cuts, no magic bullet to banish anxiety, or quick fix to conquer confidence issues. What will get you there is a determination to better your best. If you are not committed to consistently working on this you will never live your dream.

Whatever the cause we will grieve the loss of the dream we started with, and that is part of the journey before we can see the new path open up before us. They say while you are looking at the door of what has passed, you will not see the door of the future.

Riding is often the main reason for horse ownership. However not all horses can be ridden, not all horses should be ridden. Some have complex emotional problems, some physical medical conditions and this brings with it so many things to consider. Riding for me must be permissive and enjoyable for any horse. This is what I teach folk, no matter the horse. So when a horse presents with issues it is essential to be extra mindful of permissive riding. If we ignore the boundaries of permission and step over that line we could be causing discomfort, pain or emotional distress. Horses will telegraph this out to us, firstly in gentle messages, if ignored the messages get louder and really serious behavioural issues surface. Sometimes when ignored the human gets hurt. (This is when I get the telephone call, sometimes as a last resort before the horse is put to sleep).   

Remind yourself there are lots of things you can enjoy with your horse that have nothing to do with riding. That is a human agenda, not a horse agenda. They are not born with saddles and bridles. They don't care if we never ride them. There is plenty we can enjoy by stepping into the world of our horses agendas. Remind yourself too that horse ownership is also not about riding, you may have a horse that is rideable but you don’t want to ride. That is ok too. If horse ownership for you is about your heart to heart connection and emotional enjoyment from the relationship, friendship, bond and enjoying time together that is a very valid reason for horse ownership. 

If you are struggling with your horse, it is so personal and only each of us can decide what feels right. This is why you must tune into intuition, it is your compass. (You can read for free my published articles on my resources section of the website). We are the guardians for our horses and sometimes we have to make hard choices and very difficult decisions. Commitment for the best for our equines is never an easy road. As it requires a willingness to give of ourselves, dedicate our time and energy to the horse. To believe in our horse, to not only make a promise but keep it with our horse and a firm commitment to make the right decision and take action in making that happen. 

Above is our boy Kez. We purchased Kez as a riding horse. Sadly after purchase we discovered he has serious conditions which mean he cannot be ridden. I grieved badly the loss of my riding dreams and aspirations. These have been packed away. I am 100% committed to ensuring our boy Kez has the best quality of life possible. There are so many daily opportunities for myself and my husband to enjoy Kez.